Are you there God? It’s me, Michelle
Heading boldly and fearlessly into mid-life.
No, no that’s not where we are starting. I am way past puberty. In fact, I am apparently in Midlife. Let’s find out what that means. According to Psychology Today “Midlife refers to the middle years of life or middle age, which ranges from approximately age 40 to age 65.” They go on the expound “Midlife or middle age is that transitional period of life between young adulthood and old age. Middle-aged people often undergo significant changes in their relationships, jobs, and health and their appearance.” Ok so now we have a baseline let’s get into the nitty-gritty.
As I’m 53 I may be a little late to the midlife acknowledgment party. Although I don’t consider it a crisis I definitely re-evaluated my life when I was nearing my 40’s and decided to quit my job and move to New York. Psychologists would call that a slump. I was sick of the weather in California, blasphemous I know. Actually, I was sick of a lot of things in California and I needed a change. I didn’t have kids or a spouse to think of, just a grey tabby who was very easy to stick in a carrier and relocate whether he liked it or not.
So if Midlife is just a chronological age range then why is it such a downer? Is it because our society values youth, firm smooth skin and tight asses above all else? I’m the first to admit I work hard to battle the signs of aging. I work out, I eat well, I wear sunscreen, I get Botox, I floss my teeth, and I use the Rise Filter on Instagram because I like the warmth it brings to my sometimes poorly lit photos. Our celebrity culture doesn’t address midlife, actresses often look like they did at 30, if not better and don’t exactly offer up their stories of cosmetic and aesthetic enhancement, much less their tales of hot flashes and lack of sex drive. I honestly didn’t even consider Midlife until last Spring when I had a week straight of night sweats. Like drenching the sheets, waking up freezing and wet, night sweats. At first, I questioned if I was just warm because the radiators were still on in our apartment and it was the middle of May. We also still had our down comforter on and my husband runs hot, to begin with so after about 10 minutes of snuggling when we first get into bed, I’m literally like, love you but get away from me, I’m cooking. We then settle onto our preferred real estate of the bed and dive into blissful slumber. But that week I was up every night just sweating. Then during the day waves of heat would wash over me. Combine that with irregular periods since January and my brain finally got the message. “Hey Chelle you might be starting menopause.” So I did what I always do when confronted with something new and unknown. I dive head first into all the books and articles and resources I can find to tell me what the heck is happening.
Unfortunately, it hasn’t been my experience to have conversations about life changes. I didn’t have older sisters, and my aunts and cousins all lived thousands of miles away. Puberty was discovered in a Judy Blume book and snickered about in junior high hallways. First bra, first period, cramps, pads, tampons (you want me to do what with that?) I have had reasonably normal and easy periods for the last 40 years so it never even occurred to me to learn about my cycle in the first place. How it affects your mood, your energy levels, and your sex drive. I’m kicking. myself now for not paying closer attention all these years, but here we are. As Maya Angelou so wisely stated, “when you know better, do better.”
Since I want to be the best version of me now and I also want to set up my future self to be the best version of her, I decided to get down to the business of learning about menopause. Things like, what to expect, what’s actually happening, why with the hot flashes and what can I do to mitigate them? Do you know what the first thing I learned was? The catch-all phrase we have deemed menopause all these years is actually only a one-day event. I found this very insightful book when I went to the Strand looking for answers, called Perimenopause Power by Maisie Hill. I can not recommend it highly enough. She shares that “menopause itself only lasts for one day because it simply marks the one year anniversary of your last period. Perimenopause, on the other hand, refers to the period of time in which you’ll have cycles, but start to experience ‘menopausal’ symptoms.” Well ok then. I have so many more questions. Like is it the one year anniversary of the first day of your last period or the last day of your last period, because you know your doctor is going to ask.
What I hope to do here is unpack not only the physical changes we are all going through but the mental and emotional ones as well. I love a good adventure and this ride called life is the best adventure of all. Let’s equip ourselves with all the tools to thrive in midlife and beyond. Let’s talk about the science of what’s happening with our hormones and how to optimize our options for treatment. Let’s talk about what changes we need to make to our diets to feel our best and keep our energy levels high. Let’s talk about changes we can make to our workout routines to keep our bones strong and our hearts healthy as our hormones shift. Let’s talk about empty nests and the what’s next questions. Let’s talk about reconnecting with your spouse once the kids are gone and being honest about the state of your relationship. Let’s talk about finding our personal style and how that can boost our confidence and self-esteem. Let’s talk about skincare and cosmetic procedures, pros and cons, and what products actually work on wrinkles and sagging skin and that dreaded crepey neck. Let’s talk about breaking out of our comfort zone and making the best of the time we have now. Let’s Go.
