Ways to make midlife more fun
Life is too short to be taken so seriously. Try to take pleasure in even the smallest things.
It’s sometimes astonishing that I’ve been walking this earth for 53 years. I wonder how it’s possible and where did all of those years go? I feel like I’ve forgotten so much that’s passed and have to jog my memory to plumb the versions of myself that are no longer taking up space. There was the precocious only child who was trying so hard to be a good girl after her parents got divorced. There was the covertly rebellious teenager who gravitated toward guys who weren’t that good to her. There was the young 23 year old bride trying so hard to be a good wife, whatever that means. There was the 32 year old young divorcee trying to so hard to figure out who in the world she was. There was the 38 year old settling into an enjoyable and fulfilling life with a good job, a home of her own, a fun side gig singing with one of her besties and travel to some pretty great places. And there was the 40 year old who said Fuck all of this I am moving to New York City.
Thankfully she’s changed over the years. Grown, matured, expanded, and stretched. But I never want to lose that little girl who loved to play Barbies for hours or who used to make up performances with her friends, or who climbed trees and pretended to be Jill from Charlie’s Angels chasing bad guys in the woods. I don’t want to be childish but I aspire to always keep a child-like sense of wonder in my everyday life, for as long as I live. I feel like we’ve been sold the vision that midlife is supposed to be so serious. We are supposed to be deep in our careers and building for our retirement, raising families, and adulting. I just don’t remember anyone ever telling us where to put the fun between the mortgage, bills child-rearing, and work. Although I never had the child-rearing component I’ve had the rest and it can be exhausting trying to keep up.
Through it all though I’ve carried a desire to always stop and smell the roses if you will. Literally and figuratively. I literally stuck my nose in a flowering tree that sits in front of the building next to mine this morning on my way to the gym. It’s a Hydrangea Tree and its smells divine right now so every chance I get I take a giant whiff when I walk past. Smell being my favorite sense, I use it as often as I can and I don’t care if I look strange even when I’m wiping dew or lingering raindrops off my nose for my effort. Fireflies make me light up with joy right alongside their little butts. I still stare up in awe at the towering skyscrapers that watch over the City like soaring bodyguards. Pink cotton candy sunsets stop me in my tracks.
What’s your idea of fun? Is it sitting on the couch watching football or Netflix marathons? Is it going to a three day music festival? Is it camping? Is it learning something new like juggling or how to make bread? Is it traveling to new lands and learning about the culture? Is it scrolling social media and laughing at mischievous cat videos? Is it sailing or water sports? Fun is different things to different people. It is defined as “light-hearted pleasure, enjoyment, or amusement; boisterous joviality or merrymaking”.
Can I encourage you to add more fun to your everyday life? Life is too short to be taken so seriously. Try to take pleasure in even the smallest things. To do that you have to stay present and look around you. Take your face out of your phone and look for amusement. There is funny stuff happening around you all day long. People and animals do stupid things and it’s funny. Here are some ideas to get you started so your days can be a little more playful and whimsical.
1. Daydream. Let your mind wander with no judgment and see where it goes.
2. Always say yes. You never know where a yes might lead you.
3. Practice mindfulness and be present. Stop zoning out and engage with your life.
4. Learn to laugh at yourself. I do dumb things all the time, so basically I am an endless well of entertainment for myself.
5. Try something new. Who cares if you do it wrong? Who cares if you look silly?
I’m going to try a new workout class called H2shO tomorrow at my gym. According to the description it “integrates traditional movements of aqua fitness with the performance elements of musical theater”. Just thinking about it makes a grin start to tickle the corners of my mouth. I have no idea what to expect but I will tell you I’m going to have fun.
