Let’s Talk Managing Emotions
Life is messy and maybe a good tantrum could be the answer to reaching your emotional limit.
When looking for my apartment upon moving to the city I had a few things in mind that were high priority. It needed to have a character of space, an actual kitchen, and I had a few chosen neighborhood options. The rest was, as they say, “negotiable.” I didn’t really think about views or proximity to subway stops or grocery stores as I do now. So my first apartment was on the parlor floor of a four-floor walkup. I was not on the garden level which feels like a basement, but I also didn’t have to haul my groceries up 3 or 4 painfully narrow stairwells. That afforded me an interesting vantage point for both people watching as well as eavesdropping on passing conversations. Heck, New Yorkers seemingly love to loiter so I often got a full-fledged front-row seat to a whole sitcom outside my window. Everything from a marriage proposal to a young woman by a homeless guy, (she said no, but tenaciously he countered with “How about tomorrow?”) to a raucous sidewalk brawl between two young, very drunk twenty-somethings, which woke with screams of “I AM GOING TO KILL YOU” and “YOU BIT MY FINGER!!” Their third friend just smirked while leaning against a tree waiting for them to tire themselves out. Never a dull moment in the city, not even at 3 am.
One afternoon, I heard a young child outside my window head for a temper tantrum. He was shrieking and yelling in that high-pitched fervor that you know well if you have ever been around children. I could hear the frequency begin to climb higher and higher. Then came a muffled adult voice responding to the crisis and mom must have gotten the upper hand because the decibels came back down to societally acceptable levels rather quickly, but it made me smile to myself and think “Yeah I could use one of those on occasion” Sure I am an adult and I have more constructive ways of handling my emotions. I know how to deal with people when they hurt me or let me down or do things I just don’t understand. I know how to have constructive conversations with people and work together to come up with solutions to problems. It doesn’t make those things any less frustrating or hurtful, because let’s face it we all think we are right most of the time, but I know how to move forward. Once in a while, though, wouldn’t it be fun to have a full-blown temper tantrum? I mean a throw yourself down on the ground, kick, scream and cry bout of emotional exorcism. Remember those as a kid? When Mom wouldn’t let us have (insert your own personal best here). I think maybe we adults should be allowed one per month but that may be excessive. Heck if I saw someone drop down in the middle of 13th St and actually have one it might curb my desire a little but I am not convinced they don’t have some merit. I have a theory that it could help with alcohol abuse in this country but that is strictly theory.
I remember having what felt close to an adult tantrum myself, years ago. I was going through some pretty crappy stuff at the time and I got foiled by my computer of all things. Just takes something small to set you off, doesn’t it? My frustration level just reached its limit on that day and I needed to blow off some steam. Usually, a run helps with that but I am human and you can only run so much when life batters you around longer than you can handle. Mind you I had never let my anger out in this kind of way.....Never. I was really good at smiling and shoving anger down into my gut but I was also in a transition period and learning new ways of coping with life. Honestly, when it was happening it was kind of frightening. I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to be able to get it under control. I started kicking the closest vertical surface I could find which happened to be a kitchen cabinet, stomping around the tile floor and crying hot tears of` ridiculousness. Thankfully no one was there to witness me go a little out of control. And thankfully I didn’t toss my computer off the balcony, although I absolutely considered it.
Living in New York City, there are ample opportunities for tantrums as a response. Dealing with building managers over, well pretty much anything, running for a train only to have its doors close right in your face and make you even more late for that appointment, walking through Times Square any day of the week. See, maybe a little tantrum now and then is right on par with a good cry. A little cleanser for the soul, if you will. Try it for yourself. Just don’t throw it in the middle of my block or I might have to stop and marvel at your tangible emotions. Not to worry though, you’d have to be on fire for most New Yorkers to even give you a passing glance.
