Let’s Talk Healing
I am one-week Post-op and feeling pretty good but healing takes time and is not something you can rush or push through. I’m learning to give my body the tools it needs and to be patient with it.
I am one week Post-op as they say and I’m feeling pretty good. For those of you who don’t know I had my appendix removed after a two-month ordeal of trying to contain the infection and inflammation that had taken up residence in my abdomen. We had affectionately named the little nuisance the “Waldorf” because A. that’s what you do when you’re trying to make the best of an arduous situation and B. every time I said “walled off” in my talk-to-text it changed it to Waldorf. So in essence it named itself.
The Waldorf required two hospital stays, 25 days of daily IV antibiotic drips at home, and countless explanations to the question “Why haven’t they removed that thing yet?” While I try to keep a positive attitude even when a lovely nurse is threading a catheter into my bicep, I have my limits and this experience tested a lot of them. Thankfully I am on the other side of the journey with one less appendix, my intestines still intact if not ravaged by the aforementioned antibiotics, and some downtime while I heal to sort through the lessons I’ve learned over the last two months.
Lesson Number 1-The body is amazing. I already knew this but every time I go through some kind of physical feat whether it be surgery to remove the cyst in my foot, running two marathons, or this unusual case of appendicitis I am reminded of how truly extraordinary we are. How I can have four incisions made into my skin, have air and cameras and instruments shoved into my abdomen, a misbehaving organ removed, all while being in a controlled state of paralysis, amnesia, and unconsciousness, and then be walking out of the hospital 4 hours later? Does that not astound anyone but me? It is a reminder that I do not honor this magnificent creation that I get to call home the way I should. I often take it for granted and don’t treat it as well as I should. While the first 5 days of recovery were no walk in the park, every day does get a little better. I have a little less pain, I feel a little stronger, I feel a little less patient with my downtime. Still working on that lesson.
Lesson Number 2-I am terrible at being sick. I hate every second of not feeling like myself. My body has been through the ringer the last few months. Outside of the abdominal reconstruction, and the napalm of antibiotics assaulting my gut, the line in my bicep made me protect my left side which created some sort of pinched nerve situation so that when I reach up or out with my arm I get a sharp, hot pain that shoots through my shoulder. It’s delightful and has made me cry tears of frustration more times than the Waldorf has. The antibiotics had the abdominal pain under control but nothing has helped with this shoulder issue. All of this makes me impatient to heal so that I can address the other issues that have been created during this journey. I value health and wellness so to be completely out of sorts physically has been something I’ve had to grapple with. Appendicitis isn’t something you can necessarily control, but I have to wonder if my system wasn’t trying to tell me something was amiss before I was willing to listen. That’s a lesson I’m going to be working on this year.
Lesson Number 3-Healing takes time. This one is going to be tough for me. The day after I got home I felt reasonably good and I knew that walking was one of my tasks. “Exercise as tolerated” can help with healing and preventing blood clots after surgery. Since I was on Vicodin and had a belly belt to help support my trunk, Scott and I went for a very slow walk in the Park. The crisp, fresh air and sunshine felt heavenly and so we walked about a mile and a half. Apparently, that was a little ambitious and that evening was not pleasant even with the pain meds. I was reminded that I needed to take it slow. It’s ok to sleep in the middle of the day. It’s ok to want to get back to normal life and also to sink into truly healing. There is no finish line for this. I don’t need to rush. I don’t need to push. I need to listen to my body and give her what she needs. I need to feed her nourishing foods. I need to drink all the water to stay hydrated. I need to wear cozy clothes and also do my hair and makeup when I feel like I want a little boost. My body is working hard just to heal, I’m learning to let that be enough each day.
