Wishing versus Wanting
Do you ever find yourself wishing you could do something? Some skill, hobby, or trait? Like, I wish I could dance, or I wish I could speak another language, or I wish I were creative. I said that to myself as I judged my attempts at urban sketching yesterday. I’ve always wanted to be able to sit on a bench across from an ancient edifice and put down on paper what my eye sees. I don’t know where along the line I began to tell myself I wasn’t creative or artistic, but it’s crippled my attempts for years. My perfectionist tells me everything I try should be amazing right off the bat. When it doesn’t measure up to the visions in my head, because you know I’m a BEGINNER, I give up and ignore my creativity for long stretches. Why is it always in the arts that when you don’t know how to do something, it must be because you have no talent for it? Don’t know how to draw or paint; must not be artistic. Or maybe it’s because no one ever taught you how to use a paintbrush or which paintbrush to use to get a certain look. We have to be taught all kinds of things. How to cook, how to ride a bike, how to do our taxes. But can’t sing or play the piano; must not be musical. Don’t know how to speak French? Language must not be a talent you have.
I’m calling bullshit. Mostly on myself, but on you too. When I heard myself say, “I wish I could draw,” I also heard another voice say, “YOU CAN, you just have to want to learn.” When I switched it from wishing to wanting something shifted. It went from passive to active, and my brain lit up. Our prefrontal cortex in our brain LOVES goals. It’s just like French. Yes, I spent four years in Panama as a kid and have a background in Spanish that started early, but it’s still a skill. If I don’t use my Spanish, it gets rusty. During the pandemic, I decided I WANTED to learn French, so every day for the last five years, I’ve opened my Duolingo app, and I’ve practiced. A little bit every day. Now, I know hundreds of French words, and I can read French and cobble together sentences in real-time. My favorite is pouvez vous changer mon pneu s’il vous plait, you know in case I’m ever stranded between Cypress Trees with a flat in Provence. Super handy.
So, no more wishing. I don’t wish I could draw. I want to learn. I am going to learn. I am going to practice. What’s that hack to goal setting? You write it as if it’s already happened, and your brain gets to work looking for opportunities to achieve it because it’s already seeing the goal as possible. That makes my goal; I am a watercolor urban sketcher. Just like my French, a few minutes a day will get me closer and closer to that goal than wishing every day that I could draw the beautiful scenes I see in the world. While I will still buy art that moves me from a street artist in Sicily, like the stunning print I bought this summer, I will also work on my craft so I can create my own. Everyone sees the same thing differently, and there is beauty in that as well.
