Let’s Talk Alcohol
I’ve taken a long hard look at my drinking habits and have not always liked what I saw. How does alcohol show up in your life?
I started looking at my alcohol consumption a few years ago after one too many lost evenings and versions of myself that showed up that I wasn’t entirely proud of. I downloaded an app called Reframe and began to learn about what alcohol does in your system, why it’s so addictive and how I could be more mindful of my decision to drink or not drink. It’s a wealth of knowledge about the science of drinking, the science of habit and the science of accountability. I was much better at quitting completely than in moderating my drinking. I quit for 30 days to complete Whole 30. I’ve done Dry January with no problem but when I told myself I would only have one glass of wine, I more often than not slid right down to 4 or 5 in a blink.
When I was sick last year I didn’t drink from November until basically May. Between the Waldorf, the antibiotics, the surgery and recovery and then the gut reset I did there was no drinking. I was so focused on getting better and alcohol was not part of that equation. And to be honest I didn’t even miss it. I occasionally missed the social part of it but mocktails became such a staple that I never felt like I was missing anything and my gosh did I feel better. I didn’t wake up with a headache, my clothes fit better, my sleep was amazing, my skin was brighter and it got me thinking I wish I’d never started to begin with. So many lost nights and wasted days after too many cocktails. Lots of laughs and fun but at what cost? Why did I think I needed alcohol to have a good time or bond with my friends? I am not sure I ever even took the time to think about it. It’s just what you did.
You turn 21 and you go to the bars, you go out drinking with your friends on the weekends, you drink beer at sporting events, you celebrate life with champagne, you pour a glass of wine while you make dinner, it’s the American way! It’s been marketed as a way to make you feel grown up and adult. You see glamorous women in movies drinking martinis and you think that makes you glamourous. You see handsome, successful men sipping a whisky in a cut crystal glass at work and you think that makes them handsome and successful. It’s so insidious in our society that we never stop to question it until it becomes a problem. We all think it’s harmless until it’s not. We all think we can handle it until we can’t.
The reality is, it’s poison and it’s addictive. According the WHO “Alcohol is an established carcinogen and alcohol consumption increases the risk of several cancers, including breast, liver, head and neck, oesophageal and colorectal cancers.” The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism states “Scientifically, alcohol is a liquid made up of distilled hydrocarbons that’s also known as ethyl alcohol or ethanol — the same stuff found in solvents and car fuel.” Yummy. Alcohol affects the chemistry of the brain and can increase the risk of depression and anxiety. The Reframe app was fascinating in all of it’s science about drinking and habit and setting healthy boundaries, connecting with our feelings instead of numbing with alcohol. It made me look at my reasons for drinking. I recognized that the nights that got away from me were often nights I spent with friends having great conversations that I didn’t want to end so I would keep drinking to keep the night going. But then the next morning there would be times when I couldn’t remember the end of the evening. What a waste that was.
It’s a work in progress still I hate to say. While I have lost my taste for red wine completely, I still enjoy a glass of bubbly. And I had more than a few Limoncello Spritzes while I was gallivanting around Sicily. I am working on it but I’m also working on connecting with the people in my life in real and meaningful ways that I will remember. I’m working on using my voice and making my opinions and needs known without liquid sass loosening my lips. Some people like and some people don’t. I guess that’s all a part of being a real adult.
